Let's play pretend

I've already been pretending
Lying, denying
But I've kept things close to heart
I've already been pretending
But I keep myself the same
You ask me to pretend
To throw it all away
You've asked me to pretend
To die
You've told me to pretend
Do I dare defy?
Or live with it in pain
In fear of the future
I'll just go on pretending